But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
