My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
