At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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