I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm like, not good at living.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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