So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
