My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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