sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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