We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
