they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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