I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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