just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Your dad touched me again.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
