If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
