Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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