Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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