Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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