That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
