Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
