guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Your penis caused this!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
