I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
