No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
