I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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