where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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