i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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