I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
