he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
