I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
