sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Randomize
