TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
