Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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