what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
