sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
