Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
