I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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