I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
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There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
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Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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