You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
