I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
