I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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