My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
This is the high leading the old right now
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
