Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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