saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
