Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
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Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
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I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize