No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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