Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
