oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
