If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
