She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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