i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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