my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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