I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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