I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
