You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize