once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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