Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
