i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
