My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
