was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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