I got chris browned last night
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
