so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
